My teenager closes the door and wants total privacy. Is that normal?
Yes. Wanting privacy is one of the clearest signs of healthy adolescent development. Teenagers are working out who they are apart from their parents, and they need a space where they can think, feel, be bored and try things out without being watched. A closed door is usually not a rejection of you. It can still hurt, and it is fine to miss the closeness you had. Respecting privacy builds trust: knock and wait, do not read diaries or messages without a serious reason, and do not mock what you find out. At the same time, privacy is not the same as no rules. You can agree on clear things together, such as meals, online safety, sleep and knowing where they are when they go out. Stay available in low-pressure ways: drive them places, cook together, be around in the kitchen late in the evening. Tell them, more than once, that they can come to you with anything, even mistakes, without the conversation turning into punishment. Teenagers who feel trusted are more likely to tell their parents when something goes wrong.
When to get help
Talk to a pediatrician or psychologist if the withdrawal is total and lasting, if your teen stops seeing friends, seems persistently sad, anxious or hopeless, changes eating or sleeping drastically, uses alcohol or drugs regularly, shows signs of self-harm, or talks about not wanting to live. In the last case, seek help the same day.
This answer is general information and does not replace medical or psychological advice. Updated:
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