Is it normal that…? Answers for parents
Short, careful answers to what parents worry about most, from the first year to the teenage years. Each answer says what is common at that age and when it is worth talking to a pediatrician or psychologist.
Babies and toddlers (0 to 3)
My child is 3 and barely talks. Is that normal?
Children start talking at very different speeds, and some are simply late bloomers who catch up.
My 2-year-old has huge tantrums several times a day. Is that normal?
Yes, very often it is. Around two, children discover that they have their own will, but the part of the brain that calms big feelings is still years from mature.
My baby still wakes up several times a night. Is that normal?
Yes. Night waking is biologically normal for babies and very common well into the toddler years.
My child wants screens all the time and melts down when I turn them off. Is that normal?
It is very common, and it does not mean your child is addicted or that you have failed.
I yell at my child and then feel terribly guilty. Is that normal?
Yes, almost every parent yells sometimes, and the guilt you feel shows that you care about doing better.
I feel no joy as a parent. Is that normal?
First: thank you for saying it. Many parents feel this and few talk about it, because there is so much pressure to be grateful and happy.
My newborn cries for hours in the evening and nothing helps. Is that normal?
Crying is how newborns communicate, and many healthy babies have long crying spells, often in the late afternoon or evening.
My toddler eats almost nothing except pasta and bread. Is that normal?
Yes, picky eating is very common between about two and six. After the fast growth of the first year, children's appetite naturally slows, and many become s
My 2-year-old hits and bites other children. Is that normal?
It is common, and it is upsetting. Toddlers hit, push and bite not because they are mean, but because their feelings are big and their words and impulse control are small.
My child cries every morning at daycare drop-off. Is that normal?
Yes, and it is actually a sign of a healthy attachment: your child protests being separated from the person they trust most.
Preschool (3 to 6)
My 7-year-old has started lying. Is that normal?
It is, and in a strange way it is even a sign of development.
My kids fight with each other all the time. Is that normal?
Sibling conflict is one of the most common parts of family life, and it is not all bad.
My child is afraid of the dark and won't sleep alone. Is that normal?
Yes, fear of the dark is one of the most common childhood fears, especially between about three and eight.
How do I explain money to my 7-year-old? Is it too early?
It is a great age to start. Seven-year-olds can count, understand that things have prices, and are beginning to plan ahead, which is exactly what money is about.
My 6-year-old still wets the bed. Is that normal?
Yes, bedwetting is common at this age and in the vast majority of cases it is not anyone's fault.
My 4-year-old has an imaginary friend. Is that normal?
Yes, completely. Imaginary companions are common in the preschool and early school years, and they are generally a sign of a rich imagination, not of lonel
My child screamed "I hate you!" at me. Is that normal?
It hurts, and it is normal. Children who say "I hate you" in a moment of anger almost never mean it the way an adult would.
School age (6 to 12)
My 12-year-old answers every question with "fine." Is that normal?
Very normal, and usually not a sign that your relationship is broken.
My 9-year-old has hardly any friends. Is that normal?
It can be. Children differ a lot in how many friends they need.
Every evening is a battle over homework. Is that normal?
It is extremely common. After a full school day many children are tired, hungry and done with being told what to do, and homework lands right in that low point.
Teenagers (12 to 18)
My teenager closes the door and wants total privacy. Is that normal?
Yes. Wanting privacy is one of the clearest signs of healthy adolescent development.
My 14-year-old is irritable and snaps at us constantly. Is that normal?
Mood swings and irritability are a common part of adolescence.
My teenager can't fall asleep before midnight and is impossible to wake up. Is that normal?
Yes, it is largely biological. During puberty the body's internal clock shifts later, so teenagers genuinely feel sleepy later at night and want to sleep l
My 15-year-old has a first boyfriend or girlfriend. Is that normal, and how do I handle it?
Yes. Crushes and first relationships are a normal, healthy part of adolescence, and many teenagers have them around this age, while others are simply not i
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