My kids fight with each other all the time. Is that normal?
Sibling conflict is one of the most common parts of family life, and it is not all bad. Siblings are often the first people children practice arguing, negotiating, losing and making up with, in a relationship that does not end after a fight. Underneath many fights is a simple question: "Do you love me as much?" Children rarely need things to be exactly equal, but they need to feel seen as individuals. Some one-on-one time with each child, even fifteen minutes, often reduces fighting more than any rule. When a fight starts, you do not have to be the judge. For small squabbles, staying out of it or just describing the problem works well: "Two kids, one tablet. That is tricky. What could you do?" Step in when it gets physical or one child is clearly overpowered, separate them calmly, and talk once everyone has cooled down. Avoid comparing ("Why can't you be like your sister?") and avoid fixed roles like "the wild one" and "the good one." Praise them when they solve something together. Many siblings who fought constantly as children become close as adults.
When to get help
Seek advice from a family counselor or psychologist if one child is regularly hurt, intimidated or afraid of a sibling, if the same child is always the target, if fights involve serious violence or sexualized behavior, or if the conflict is wearing down the whole family and nothing you try changes it.
This answer is general information and does not replace medical or psychological advice. Updated:
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