My child screamed "I hate you!" at me. Is that normal?
It hurts, and it is normal. Children who say "I hate you" in a moment of anger almost never mean it the way an adult would. It is the strongest phrase they know for "I am furious, and I don't like what you just did." In a way it is a sign of trust: children usually say it to the people they feel safest with, because they know the relationship will hold. The most helpful response is calm and short. Do not punish the feeling and do not answer with hurt or counterattack. Something like: "You are really angry with me because I said no. I still love you, and the answer is still no." Later, when things have calmed down, you can talk about other ways to say how angry they are, such as "I'm so mad at you!" Children need words for big feelings, and you can help them find them. Notice what you feel too. If the sentence touches an old wound, perhaps from your own childhood, it is worth taking time for that afterward rather than reacting from it in the moment.
When to get help
Talk to your pediatrician or a family counselor if hateful outbursts are very frequent, come with violence toward people or animals, if your child seems to express lasting hatred or hopelessness when calm, or if the conflict between you feels stuck and is hurting your relationship over weeks.
This answer is general information and does not replace medical or psychological advice. Updated:
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