Ages 10 to 14

My 12-year-old answers every question with "fine." Is that normal?

Very normal, and usually not a sign that your relationship is broken. Around this age children start building an inner world of their own, and pulling back from parents a little is part of becoming a separate person. "How was school?" is also a tiring question after a long day: too big, too vague, and it feels like a report. Try smaller, more specific questions: "What was the funniest moment today?" or "Who did you sit with at lunch?" Even better, talk side by side instead of face to face. Many preteens open up in the car, while cooking, on a walk or late in the evening, when there is no eye contact and no pressure. Share something about your own day first, including things that went wrong. When your child does tell you something, listen more than you advise, and do not jump to judgment or worry out loud, or the door closes again. Be curious about their world, their music, games and friends, without mocking it. Connection at this age is built in many small, low-stakes moments, not in one big talk.

When to get help

Talk to your pediatrician or a psychologist if the withdrawal comes with lasting sadness or irritability, loss of interest in things they used to love, big changes in sleep, eating or grades, avoiding all friends, signs of self-harm, or any talk of not wanting to live. Take any mention of suicide seriously and seek help the same day.

This answer is general information and does not replace medical or psychological advice. Updated:

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